Let’s get real here and shed some emotions. Tumblr is my safe venting space. Why the Fuck can I not have complimentary romance in my life? I have not been intimate with anyone in over 4 months, in which I went out of my way to see someone in particular who I really really fucking care about. (Of coarse it just isn’t working) Before that, it had been 3 and a half months. (With the same person and was consistent for about a month). Before that, I seriously can’t even really remember. Sometime months before with my ex partner who I also really care about. I’m fucking lonely, and I feel completely incompatible. I want coffee dates, and bike rides, and record listening cuddles with someone who I can kiss sincerely. I want someone to compliment my life and vise versa, who I can read to at night and then wrap my arms around them before we go to sleep. I don’t need this. I want this. Why am I so unavailable even though I’m SO available?
You know when you finally encounter that person who is pretty much everything you could ever want? That person you could easily see yourself being compatible with? That person that you will always admire?
You know that feeling, when you find someone you could so easily fall madly in love with for forever, and then the universe puts a force field between the two of you, and it just won’t ever happen? No matter how hard you try, it’s just not natural?
I’m learning this feeling. Breaking my own heart sweetly. Working towards understanding.
We mirror ourselves with what we want in relationships.